I don’t know. I’m just sitting here, thinking about how hard it is to like someone so much. To like someone so much, and not have those feelings returned. They used to be returned, but I don’t know what happened. I know things like this happen, but I never thought they would happen to me, you know? Maybe you don’t. I used to be so strong, and I feel so broken, for lack of a better word. I’m not the person that I used to be. I know that I shouldn’t get too attached, simply because this person and I are a couple of thousand miles apart. I was told on the early morning of February 7th, 2012 by him that I won’t know what will happen in the next six years. But what if I do know? It’s just so much to think about. He told one of my friends that I deserve better, but I don’t want anyone else. For the time being.
Since really, you don’t know what will happen. I feel so bad about myself, like in the annoying way. I feel so annoying and little kid-ish when I talk to him about all of my personal problems. He says he’s there for me. It’s not that I don’t believe him, because I do, but I feel so annoying. And then there’s the jealousy. Oh my gosh, the jealousy. I don’t like to admit it, because I never admit things like this, but I get so jealous. I’ve told him a few times that I do get jealous, and he says there’s nothing to be jealous about. How am I to believe that? What if there is? What if the reason why he’s not interested anymore is because of my jealousy?
These are the things I think about..
· #personal #mini rant #i really am not okay #i don't know if i need to talk to someone or not #him